Gratitude vs. Entitlement

This article was written by

Scott James

CD Baby recently re-posted a piece I wrote called “Are You Too Old to Make it?” (http://diymusician.cdbaby.com/2010/06/are-you-too-old-to-make-it/). The gist of the post is that as long as people are willing to pay to see you play or hear your music, you can still make things happen at any age. A few hundred people gave their opinion in the comment section, so I was able to get some good feedback and a sense of where people stood on the topic.

Most of the comments where overwhelmingly positive.

Del Kubena writes:

“I’m 81 years old and going strong. I play country but my passion is western music. I do a lot of yodeling even at my age. I have buried two wives and recently I have remarried and my wife who is 72 years old has learned to play the bass to back me up. So as soon as she gets real comfortable with the bass she will start singing and we’re gonna do a lot of harmonizeing together. Life has just begun again. GOD bless you all”

Harris Moore writes:

“I figure I sold over 250,000 cds on the street…all self-manufactured with NO middle men. Eventually, I hung it up and now own/run a prehistory museum on the Dingle Peninsula on the west coast of Ireland. I still play for visitors, sell my cds here (I busk in my own house,… how cool is that?!)and do the occasional concert. I never ever for one minute placed any stock in the conventional “music business”, but took it to the street and flapped my funky-ass flag in the breeze to see if anyone would salute.”

Anne Roos writes:

“I didn’t start playing the harp when I was a child–I started playing the harp after I graduated college. I started my own business as a professional musician after I got married. I’ve heard countless people tell me I couldn’t make it.

I make a living at it and I proved them wrong. You can, too. Find your niche and make it real. Age is just a number.”

Terry Walsh writes:

“Last month, our band opened for CHICAGO in front of 15,000 people. We got a standing ovation. The following week, I turned forty eight.”

Others had a different take:

“I must admit I was hoping for more, as at the age of 47 I am firmly of the opinion that I am too old. Right up until a year or two ago I never used to think so, but after having so many doors slammed in my face when those very same doors are open to largely talentless 20 year olds, I have to concede. Self belief can only take you so far. I have a modest but loyal fan base who believe in my music but even they have learned to live with my disappointments. I have invested much of my life – and my money – in my music career, and there has to come a time when you have to wonder if you’re flogging a dead horse… or at least a very old one.”

“For us older folk music was more of a collectable, but for the kids today it’s more a consumable – and usually a free one at that. It seem if they’re going to pay for good music it better LOOK good as well!”

“We’re good. But we’re older, and not nearly as appealing to this audience as the hot young eye-candy that also plays those evenings. The change in general vibe is substantial. When we’re up we’re mostly background noise, and only the few patrons around our age seemingly take an interest and offer encouraging feedback and applause. But as soon as the young boys get up… or more particularly the hot young blonde the place comes alive, regardless of the dross they may be churning out.”

“Like it or not, the mass media is a culture of youth, and in most towns folks loose interest in live music (except for stuff they are familiar with) by the time they reach their 30s.”

After reading all the comments I took some time to think about the difference between those who had positive feelings and those who had negative feelings regarding the issues that were discussed. I think it boils down to something critically important to our quality of life.

Some people seem to think that the world owes them something. That they’re somehow entitled to get certain gigs, make a certain amount of money or get a certain amount of adulation and praise. They feel that if they don’t earn those things then it’s the fault of some external force. They don’t turn their focus inward to look at the things they don’t want to face. They never seriously consider that they need to change themselves and get out of their comfort zones to grow and to get different results. It’s somebody else’s job to put them where they feel they’re entitled to be. It’s either the club owners or the fans, the record execs or the economy or someone or something else that’s responsible for the current state of their career- anyone but themselves.

Other people see life as a gift and are grateful for all of the small miracles that they’ve been given. They’re grateful for all of the support and love that they get. They’re grateful for their ability to make their music and share it with anyone else who wants to share the experience with them. They know that if they can touch one person with their music then they can touch many more – and it’s their responsibility to figure out how to do it.

Where you stand on this spectrum is the foundation on which everything else in your career and life will be built.  Where do you stand?  The choice is yours.

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?

It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome.

So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“TWA?” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.”

“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of TWA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel-it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.”

“Really?” asked the Barber. “What’d he say?”

He said, “Where’d you get the lousy haircut?

I found this joke here:  @Joke_OTD